Pretend she even had a friend to say was her friend...

They say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And more often than I would like to admit, I have found myself trying to figure out the reason for most of my friends. I can respect that lives go on and people grow apart, but what I couldn't understand was the fact that people are more content with accepting the season or reason, instead of working towards the lifetime. For the longest I thought that that little quote was a "cop out" because I truly felt that if a friend was a true friend, they would always be there regardless. Right?

Excuse me as I climb up onto my pedestal for a quick moment...

Now for those who know me, you know that I am THE friend to have. There are very few things that I boast about, but this characteristic, I know and I am proud of. As far back as I can remember whenever my friends (even boyfriends for that matter) and I would have a fallen out, they would always come back. Not saying because I was always right nor was I always a perfect person, but because I never do things to people I wouldn't want done to myself...true story. But now you have to also understand that once I cut you off that's it...I may forgive, but I never forget. Trust!

Okay, I'm back...

In the last few months, I have had some major line up changes in my personal life. People whom I thought would be there for forever, jumped at the the first opportunity to leave. People that others warned me about, showed their true colors, and now they too are in the wind. <=== (I didn't listen to the warnings so that one there is my own fault.) And others have just fallen victim to the rat race, known as life, so when things slow down, we'll catch up...

Now, without getting too personal, I have to confess, that I was really concerned about one of these changes because at first I thought "this is a total devastation" I spent hours thinking about it, some conversations obsessing over it, and random moments racking my brain trying to figure out if there was anything that I could have done differently to salvage our friendship. Ultimately, the answer was no to most of the questions I asked myself. At first I was willing and even prepared to take on the responsibility of it all being my fault just so that we could move on, but in the end I wouldn't confess to a murder if I didn't do it, and this situation was no different. We have since "talked" and I have gotten to a place that I have forgiven. And its true, that time does heal all wounds, but time does not remove scars, and unfortunately the damage has been done. I have no hard feelings because what I learned throughout the whole situation was that I may have been working on a friendship for a lifetime, and for them it was just a season. And whatever the reason may be, I am okay with that.

So what does it all of this mean...

I know that I am not the only that has ever lost a friend over foolishness. I know this because it has been said that, everybody plays the fool.

I know that while I was sitting there "racking my brain" over a season player, there is another person vying to be a lifetime.

I know that we are who we are we. People don't change, seasons do.

And in the end,

I have come to know that I may have lost a friend, but I didn't lose!