You stopped laughing, you slowly uncovered your eyes, and carefully took two steps back from the screen and at that very unforgiving moment you noticed you had been photoshopped into the movie, at some moment unbeknownst to you the director of the movie took it upon himself to “insert your photo here.”
All of a sudden it was no longer funny. Instead you became pissed. You sat through the rest of the movie vowing to “not give a f-ck” to change up the game on these dudes, you swore that once you walked out of that movie theatre you were going to delete all of the contacts in your phone, change your name and your number and go start a organization that exposed the evil and dangers of men near and far; old and young; tall and short; fat and skinny all over the world. And who would be spearheading the movement behind this non-profit organization? You, of course!
And just as you’re about to create this magical “I Hate Men” fan page on Facebook… he calls you. And poof! Just like that the momentum is dead…
See the f-cked up thing isn’t that he called you, no the f-cked up part is that he called to tell you all the things you want to hear and not the things you need to hear. You want to hear that he has been thinking about you, and that he misses you, and that he wanted to see you last night but he was tied up late at work with an important client.
But what you really need to hear is the truth… that he was thinking about you it just happened to be at the exact same time he was meeting another girl for drinks, the truth is he did miss you he just couldn’t call you while he was getting he-d from another girl, (c’mon now how would that look) and honestly he was tied up but since you don’t get down like that, well his needs needed to be met and so somehow that too is your fault! (Side eye) But still tell me truth. Be brutally honest with me, let me be the one who makes the decision to keep f-cking with you or not, but just don’t allow me to build a life on a lie.
But I’m not here to bash guys for continuing a behavior we tolerate. It’s a known fact people are going to do what you allow them to do or better yet, get away with. And I am just as guilty of it… making up excuses to my friends for the reasons why he didn’t come through like he said he would. But when all is said and done and the dust settles it was only excusable, because I excused it.
Which is fine because I am also the only one who can change anything. I have learned that you have to be so fed up with the bullsh-t that you tell yourself no more and mean it. You stop checking his facebook page trying to see who he is talking to now and trying to figure who his “new friends” are. (Oh, ok so I’m the only one who has ever done that?!?) You promise yourself that when he calls you ignore the phone call even though you spent the last two weeks praying that he would call. Because the truth is, if he cares, he will call. And he will continue to call because right now his mind is all discombobulated trying to figure out who you are now into.
And maybe you do contemplate answering, because the truth is you miss do him, and you too have been thinking about him as well, and let’s be honest…you do want to know what he has been up to for the last 2 weeks…
And just as you are about to give into temptation and hit that little green answer button…a little light goes off in your head and you have that all important a-ha moment…
You miss what you wanted it to be…not the lies, the excuses, and the letdowns.
And you have been thinking as well… You thought that he would be different.
And quite honestly amongst all your thoughts you have come to accept that no matter what happened in the last fourteen days in his super all-important world, and on his a-million-and-one-things-to-do list you come to the realization that…you weren’t one of them.
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