Real Talk

If she's amazing...she won't be easy. If she's easy...she won't be amazing! Ladies the same holds true for the fellas

Just Do It!!!

I do it.

I'll admit it, because most people won't. And if you say that you don't do it at least once a day I know that you are lying. I do it. I did it just this morning, could have started my day this morning at 7:00 a.m. but instead I stayed in bed for another hour doing it. God did that feel great. I did it before my three-mile run, I did when I came back and another numerous times this afternoon. I even found myself doing it once more right before I went to bed, could have been asleep at 11:00 p.m. if I didn't do it, but instead I did it and the last time I looked at the clocked it read 12:36 a.m. What is wrong with me?!?! I think it is safe to say that I do it every possible opportunity that I am given.

Ladies and gentlemen, and all members of the jury, I'm guilty! Yours truly is a serial...

PROCRASTINATOR!!!

See it's not that I like procrastinating, I find myself beating myself over it and constantly asking myself where did the time go? WHERE DID THE TIME GO?!?!? It went to those two hours you spent perusing the web looking at real estate and watching "Color Splash" on HGTV! And you're not even in the market to buy a house!! Those voices in my head are right, but what can I say.

The more soul searching I do, the more I come to the same conclusion that I just may procrastinate because I am afraid of failure. Not because I fail at everything I attempt, because it is actually just the opposite once I put my mind to something and actually follow through. But more of being afraid of the success. Does that make sense?!?!

It's like this:

You know all those people that say "I wish I could hit the lottery, Oh what I could do with that money. I would have no problems..." But then later turn around and say if I could give the money back I would, because it just wasn't what they thought it would be...yeah my success is kinda like that. What if everything that I am dreaming of and working towards turns out to be everything that I never wanted?!?!

Don't misunderstand, I love what I am studying and can not wait to be a broadcast journalist, but what if I never become the next Oprah... have I succeeded or have I really failed. This is what I mean by being afraid of success...What if I am dreaming too big? What if someone pops my dream bubble?












Ok so I just popped my own dream bubble, that way no one else can do it. So now I can snap back to reality and reassure myself that I am in fact capable of anything that I put my mind to. I refuse to let my achievements to be anything short of my dreams. I reject allowing someone telling me that I am not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, and every other enough that I have heard along the way.

Truthfully the only person that can actually pop your dream bubble is yourself. Your success is dependent on you and solely on you. Sure you can get help or "breaks" along the way, but you will never be successful because of someone else. (Unless you're one of those groupies that is content with being the person who lives off the success someone else and calling themselves successful. What is that?!?!) But instead be the person that dreams big and achieves even bigger!!!

So starting today, I mean like right now, I am going to go for everything that I ever wanted. Regardless of what it is. I am just going to do it, if I succeed then I succeed, and if I fail at least I succeeded at trying, right? So I am a success either way. Wow, statistically those are some really good odds!

So off I go...

Okay, maybe after this one episode of "Color Splash"...just kidding!!!!

If video killed the radio star...then texting has killed the relationship

Gone are the days of the cute phone calls... Hasta la vista to the quick "just thinking about you" voicemails... sayonara to the feeling you get when you see his name show up on the caller i.d. because now thanks to this little concept called texting...texting has become the new talking

Now that pretty smile that he flashed you when you two first met has become: :)
His cute funny little laugh has now become: LMAO
And his slight stutter when he would get frustrated and upset have become:

No that is no typo...frustrated or upset gets you no response...

Which in turn gets the two of you nowhere

Now don't misunderstand, the occasional text is inevitable, you're in a meeting...text. You're in a noisy location...text. You're at the gym...text. You're at the movies...wait who are you at the movies with?!?!
But seriously relying solely on text messaging to establish, continue or terminate a relationship is just bad business.

The way I see it, and again this is just my personal beliefs on the matter, but if your daily schedule is so full and every little minute of your day has been booked that my only option is a text message. Please just don't even bother. Fact of the matter is that we probably won't be compatible anyways. I have always been a lady who loves to hear a man's voice, I love to hear him laugh and to see what kind of quick wit I am working with. I like the idea that you took the time to call me and you are just as excited to hear my voice as I am to hear yours. There is nothing more to that random "whatcha doing" text than just letters on a screen that I can assure you been typed before, which ultimately got the other guy nowhere. So where do you think it will get you?

But then again this is just IMO... TTYL :/

Pretend she even had a friend to say was her friend...

They say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And more often than I would like to admit, I have found myself trying to figure out the reason for most of my friends. I can respect that lives go on and people grow apart, but what I couldn't understand was the fact that people are more content with accepting the season or reason, instead of working towards the lifetime. For the longest I thought that that little quote was a "cop out" because I truly felt that if a friend was a true friend, they would always be there regardless. Right?

Excuse me as I climb up onto my pedestal for a quick moment...

Now for those who know me, you know that I am THE friend to have. There are very few things that I boast about, but this characteristic, I know and I am proud of. As far back as I can remember whenever my friends (even boyfriends for that matter) and I would have a fallen out, they would always come back. Not saying because I was always right nor was I always a perfect person, but because I never do things to people I wouldn't want done to myself...true story. But now you have to also understand that once I cut you off that's it...I may forgive, but I never forget. Trust!

Okay, I'm back...

In the last few months, I have had some major line up changes in my personal life. People whom I thought would be there for forever, jumped at the the first opportunity to leave. People that others warned me about, showed their true colors, and now they too are in the wind. <=== (I didn't listen to the warnings so that one there is my own fault.) And others have just fallen victim to the rat race, known as life, so when things slow down, we'll catch up...

Now, without getting too personal, I have to confess, that I was really concerned about one of these changes because at first I thought "this is a total devastation" I spent hours thinking about it, some conversations obsessing over it, and random moments racking my brain trying to figure out if there was anything that I could have done differently to salvage our friendship. Ultimately, the answer was no to most of the questions I asked myself. At first I was willing and even prepared to take on the responsibility of it all being my fault just so that we could move on, but in the end I wouldn't confess to a murder if I didn't do it, and this situation was no different. We have since "talked" and I have gotten to a place that I have forgiven. And its true, that time does heal all wounds, but time does not remove scars, and unfortunately the damage has been done. I have no hard feelings because what I learned throughout the whole situation was that I may have been working on a friendship for a lifetime, and for them it was just a season. And whatever the reason may be, I am okay with that.

So what does it all of this mean...

I know that I am not the only that has ever lost a friend over foolishness. I know this because it has been said that, everybody plays the fool.

I know that while I was sitting there "racking my brain" over a season player, there is another person vying to be a lifetime.

I know that we are who we are we. People don't change, seasons do.

And in the end,

I have come to know that I may have lost a friend, but I didn't lose!

"He ate my heart and then he ate my brain..."

So a friend and I were sitting around over dinner and drinks, getting to know one another when he asked me one of the basic "getting to know you" questions...

Dun dun dun dun...

"So what do you like to eat?"

Now anyone who knows me, knows that there are only three ways to answer this question. For me, seafood, sushi, and artichokes...

And I'm talking real artichokes...not that weak spinach artichoke dip sh-t!

But anyways that's beside the point. What blew my mind was the fact that he said that he didn't like artichokes because...

And I loosely quote, "I like the way they taste and all but, but when I tried it the leaves keep pricking me, and there wasn't much "meat" on the leaves. It's just too much damn work to get to the good part"

Now I will admit that is the truth. The heart is in fact the best part, point blank. Hands down. Period. And for the inexperienced rookie types yeah you are liable to get pricked a few times. But what really got me thinking was...is this what I love about the artichoke? Have they found a way to master what I have been trying to accomplish my whole life? Have they made it so someone would have to carefully pull back several layers of the exterior, while risking a little pain, before ever reaching the heart? Have they found a way to protect their hearts for the truly deserving?

When I meet someone that I like I have been known to let my guard down and let them in. And when I do, I go all in. Unlike the artichoke and forcing them to pull back layer upon layer and get to know me before getting my heart. NO!! Instead I wear my heart on my sleeve and let them in right away, only to be left wondering, when all is said and done, why is my heart destroyed?

How, no better yet, when did I become the inexperienced rookie type...

I can't say "when" for sure, but as far as "how" that's a little easier to distinguish. Bottom line is that I still believe in the idea of love. There I said it. Call me old fashion, call me crazy, call me just plain dumb (hell you can call me all three) but hands down I believe that regardless of my past experiences, my relationships, my fakelationships, and all the hoopla in between, I still believe that true love exist. I still believe and will continue to believe that, because I don't want to give up a good fight all because I have had a couple of rounds in the ring with amateurs. And even though I have yet to find the one who truly deserves my heart I have also decided to not yet throw in the towel. And it will only be that once I find the one who is willing and able to pull back the layers and get through all the nitty gritty will I then find someone who is truly worth "the good part"

But until then, all the rest is just butter...baby!

Insert Your Photo Here

We have all read the book or at least seen the movie. And if you are anything like me you laughed shamelessly at GiGi’s character. And you probably covered your eyes unable to bear watching her desperation as if it was an 18-wheeler about to hit a baby carriage, you mocked her actions and became so disappointed in her actions that you wanted to shake her through the screen while yelling at her how could you be some stupid naïve chick. And then at some pivotal point…

You stopped laughing, you slowly uncovered your eyes, and carefully took two steps back from the screen and at that very unforgiving moment you noticed you had been photoshopped into the movie, at some moment unbeknownst to you the director of the movie took it upon himself to “insert your photo here.”

All of a sudden it was no longer funny. Instead you became pissed. You sat through the rest of the movie vowing to “not give a f-ck” to change up the game on these dudes, you swore that once you walked out of that movie theatre you were going to delete all of the contacts in your phone, change your name and your number and go start a organization that exposed the evil and dangers of men near and far; old and young; tall and short; fat and skinny all over the world. And who would be spearheading the movement behind this non-profit organization? You, of course!

And just as you’re about to create this magical “I Hate Men” fan page on Facebook… he calls you. And poof! Just like that the momentum is dead…

See the f-cked up thing isn’t that he called you, no the f-cked up part is that he called to tell you all the things you want to hear and not the things you need to hear. You want to hear that he has been thinking about you, and that he misses you, and that he wanted to see you last night but he was tied up late at work with an important client.

But what you really need to hear is the truth… that he was thinking about you it just happened to be at the exact same time he was meeting another girl for drinks, the truth is he did miss you he just couldn’t call you while he was getting he-d from another girl, (c’mon now how would that look) and honestly he was tied up but since you don’t get down like that, well his needs needed to be met and so somehow that too is your fault! (Side eye) But still tell me truth. Be brutally honest with me, let me be the one who makes the decision to keep f-cking with you or not, but just don’t allow me to build a life on a lie.

But I’m not here to bash guys for continuing a behavior we tolerate. It’s a known fact people are going to do what you allow them to do or better yet, get away with. And I am just as guilty of it… making up excuses to my friends for the reasons why he didn’t come through like he said he would. But when all is said and done and the dust settles it was only excusable, because I excused it.

Which is fine because I am also the only one who can change anything. I have learned that you have to be so fed up with the bullsh-t that you tell yourself no more and mean it. You stop checking his facebook page trying to see who he is talking to now and trying to figure who his “new friends” are. (Oh, ok so I’m the only one who has ever done that?!?) You promise yourself that when he calls you ignore the phone call even though you spent the last two weeks praying that he would call. Because the truth is, if he cares, he will call. And he will continue to call because right now his mind is all discombobulated trying to figure out who you are now into.

And maybe you do contemplate answering, because the truth is you miss do him, and you too have been thinking about him as well, and let’s be honest…you do want to know what he has been up to for the last 2 weeks…

And just as you are about to give into temptation and hit that little green answer button…a little light goes off in your head and you have that all important a-ha moment…

You miss what you wanted it to be…not the lies, the excuses, and the letdowns.

And you have been thinking as well… You thought that he would be different.

And quite honestly amongst all your thoughts you have come to accept that no matter what happened in the last fourteen days in his super all-important world, and on his a-million-and-one-things-to-do list you come to the realization that…you weren’t one of them.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

The Greatest Show on Earth is About to Begin...